How Our Society is Declaring War on Childhood (And 4 Ways to Combat it at Home)

Over the course of the past generation or so, there has been a changing trend in family life. If your family is like most in the United States, each day is a new opportunity for productivity. Families are busy trying to fit as much work, play, and learning into a day as possible. Technology has quickly taken over our lives in regards to this sought-after productivity.

The hustle and bustle of daily life have become the norm for most families and children are just along for the ride. However, there is a greater danger than we might not realize for our children hiding behind the high-paced, technology-filled lives we lead. 

Are We Declaring War on Childhood?

This heading title might seem a little dramatic. Really? Declaring war? That seems a little much. But for many children, the fundamental opportunities and skills that are essential for growth and learning in early childhood are being stripped away solely to keep up with the expectations and pace of society today. 

If you think about it, a child’s main job during their first 5-7 years of life is to set a foundation of healthy learning and growth for the remainder of their life. The early childhood years are considered the ‘foundational years’ for just that reason. Children are constantly learning from the world around them. So how are our lifestyles waging war on this pivotal time in our children’s lives?

First of all, society tells us today that the path to success is to accomplish things quickly and with as little mess as possible. Well, I hate to break it to you, but childhood is supposed to be messy, and it’s supposed to take a while.  Parents, schools, and even the media are constantly pushing children to do more and do it faster. They also want it clean and proper so it fits in well with the rest of adult society. We are trying to make children into miniature adults WAY before they have the capabilities to do so. We are setting unobtainable expectations of children while also expecting them to do it quickly and without all that fussing around. When we are pushing children to always do more and more, we are taking away the opportunity to deeply develop the fundamental skills for a healthy, productive adult life. 

Secondly, our society is constantly telling us that we need to do more and more with our time. And if we aren’t doing something with our time, then let’s throw this television show, social media account, or video game at you to occupy your time when you finally sit down to take a rest. Now, the implication of this type of lifestyle for adults is a whole other topic, but it also can wreak havoc on the natural process of childhood. By constantly giving children distractions to keep them occupied, we completely take away their natural desire to invent, explore, and create independently. Children can create beautiful, wonderful ideas if they are just given the time and space to do so. The current pace of our society doesn’t lend much room for the natural creativity of childhood. 

Why Is Preserving Childhood So Important Anyway?

A child’s brain is like a beautiful flower that slowly develops and blooms throughout the entirety of childhood. But, just like a flower, a child’s brain needs the proper nutrients and time to fully develop into its greatest potential. However, while a flower needs nutrients from the soil, sun, air, and water, children need much more to help their beautiful brains develop. Some of the tendencies that our society leans towards can wilt these growing flowers before they reach their full bloom. 

A huge buzzword in the education world right now is teaching children to develop 21st Century skills. These 21st Century skills include a wide variety of skills that are broken down into three categories. These categories include literacy skills, learning skills, and life skills. As an educator, I know how important these 21st Century skills are for students to obtain to reach success in our 21st Century world. Sometimes, the problem in teaching these skills in the classroom is that students don’t come to the classroom with a solid foundation in these areas to build from. This is why childhood needs to be preserved so children can learn these skills and build on them while at home, in the community, and in the classroom. These skills are not something that can just be learned within 8 hours a day, 190 days out of the year at school. These are essential, foundational skills that children need for further success in adulthood. 

Out of the 3 main categories (literacy skills, learning skills, and life skills), children need specific abilities for success in today’s world. 

Children are natural explorers and learners. They go into each day with a renewed level of wonder and excitement. With the busy, rushed, and distracted lifestyle we lead today, no wonder so many children struggle to build these critical skills at home and school. By slowing down and truly treasuring the beauty of childhood and all it entails, we can allow children to learn and discover just as nature intended it. With the busy, rushed, and distracted lifestyle we lead today, no wonder so many children struggle to build these critical skills at home and school. 

But there is no need to panic or begin changing major elements in your lifestyle. Children don’t really need much from us to claim back their childhood. They naturally lend themselves to it without much help from adults. All you need to do is slow down and begin offering them the opportunities to do so.

Four Ways to Claim Back Childhood

Truly the most important thing children need to grow and succeed is to have adults that understand and support their learning and ample amounts of time to do that learning. To achieve this, here are some really easy ways to bring the natural flow of childhood back into your home. 

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Kids are naturally busybodies. They love to move and explore constantly. But they also like to sit and treasure small things in life too. Children need the opportunity to do both of these things to maximize their learning and development. By simplifying the world around them, children can spend their time and energy on what interests them and their next developmental step. Here are some great ideas to get started with: 

Simplify Toys and Clothes

When we bombard children with a constant flow of new clothes and toys, we distract them from their true goals. Having the trendiest outfits or the latest and greatest toy will not matter much to your child’s current or future development. No matter what the advertisements tell you. If you think there is even the slightest possibility that your child might have a little too much stuff, you will want to consider doing a significant purge. 

Without the clutter of stuff, children have the freedom to explore and discover for themselves the world around them. Children at this age are really starting to focus on who they are or who they want to be as a person. Filling their world with more and more stuff isn’t going to help at all, and honestly, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind getting rid of some of the clutter too. 🙂

Simplify Schedules

There is quite a bit of buzz around the internet about the overbooked, overscheduled lives of kids. Kids get up early for daycare before school, spend an entire 7-8 hours at school with very few breaks (if any), spend much of the afternoon at extracurriculars (sports, classes, enrichment activities), then they have just enough time to do homework (if they even have the energy to do so), and go to sleep. If your child has a similar schedule, then it is time to give the poor kid a break. 

Even if a child loves the activities or sports they are doing in the evening, it doesn’t mean their whole lives need to be taken up by it. Even cutting out a couple of events a week can make a huge difference in simplifying the pace of their day and week. Just as I said earlier, children need TIME to really grow and develop, and filling up their schedule with activities isn’t giving them that proper time. 

Simplify Foods

If you take some time and look at what is in the food most of us give our children to eat, there are many things on those food labels that we can barely pronounce, let alone know what they really are. 

By simplifying the food we give our children, we give them the proper nutrients to fuel their progress through childhood. Keep the contents of meals and snacks simple with as many whole foods as possible. While it might seem cheaper and easy to just throw a bag of goldfish for a snack, a bag of whole-grain crackers, fruit, or vegetables could be just as good and will keep them fueled for longer. 

*For more details regarding simplifying your child’s environment, check out my blog post that covers this topic in more detail.*

Create Space and Time for the Natural Flow of Childhood

Now this one will look different for each family and each child. Space is dependent on what kind of space you can dedicate to your children and how your daily routine affects the space you live in. The most important thing is to give your child the most opportunities possible to be independent and contribute to your household’s daily activities. 

Create a space that supports the natural flow and desire for the exploration of childhood. For example, don’t have every sitting area in the house be out of your child’s reach. Give them some independence by giving them seating areas that they can access independently. This is a very generic example, but take a look at your child’s daily routine. Make spaces that are child-friendly so children can learn at their own pace. How can you make that part of their day easier for their independence? 

Secondly, just like I mentioned in the last section, give your child time to explore and learn independently. Include them in daily activities to the best of their abilities. This obviously will depend on their age, but even children as young as a year old can help with laundry or doing the dishes. You just have to figure out what they can do and give them the supports they need. But be sure to remember that young children need to experience and repeat processes, sometimes hundreds of times, before they can make a proper connection in the brain. So patience is critical when your child learns or experiences anything. 

Follow Your Child’s Lead

When I say to follow your child’s lead, that doesn’t mean they get to have control of the house, and you have to start following their rules. 😉 Instead, find out what they are interested in. Are they really into vehicles? Are shapes and textures fascinating to them? Do they want to learn everything there is to learn about the jungle? Once you have figured that out, take that topic and start exploring within that topic. Do activities, read books, ask questions and research the answers. Children learn so much about the world around them. They are like sponges soaking up knowledge each day. But when they are REALLY interested in something, it’s like a super sponge soaking up every last bit of knowledge there is. 

To let your child be the guide to their development, taking time to observe is key. Taking time each day (or even every couple of days) to sit and observe your child will teach you so much about what they can do, what they are struggling with, and any areas that could use a little scaffolded support by you. Over time, you will also be able to tell when you need to step in and when you can sit back and let your child figure out something challenging on their own. In the era of endless to-do lists and distractions, it might be hard to sit and dedicate time to observing your child, but it is such an important part of your understanding of their development. 

Live in the Moment with Your Child

This can be the most rewarding and the most challenging aspect of parenthood. Living in the moment. It seems as soon as this precious baby is born, time accelerates, and before you know it, they are walking, talking, creating, and exploring. And you are just sitting there and thinking, “Wait, where did all that time go?”

By trying to live in the moment with your child, you attempt to slow time down, even just a little. Try to live in their world a bit and explore with them. Try to marvel at the beauty of childhood with the hope that maybe time will slow down just this one time. 

Living in the moment with our children means that we must be present with them not only for the highs but also for the many, many lows. Growing up is hard, and having a supportive parent to guide them through even the lowest points will help your child build back better and stronger for the next time they hit a low point. While it is really easy to try to live in the high moments of childhood, it can be tough to sit there and be present for a child having a meltdown. Nobody is perfect, and we all have imperfect moments. As parents, we want to try our hardest to be present at the moment, no matter how difficult it is. You will be amazed at how powerful that will be over time and the bond you will build with your child. 

Giving Children Space to Learn Is the Greatest Gift

Even though our society is trying to force our children to rush their childhood and move on to the next bigger and better thing, you have the power to shield some of that within your own home. Children grow and thrive in environments that allow them to be who they are and appreciate them for the little bundles of curiosity and joy that they truly are.

Hopefully, these tips gave you some ideas of how you can help preserve childhood within your home and let your child’s spirit shine. Which of these tips was the most helpful for you? Which ones might be your biggest challenge? I would love to hear your comments below!